Hello Whitney

How do we explain Whitney’s appeal? Could it be that Whitney is the new Hello Kitty of television? Go with me on this. We know NOTHING about this girl. Her past, her family, her opinions on anything other than her friends’ relationships – all of it is a blank slate! Who else is a blank slate? Hello Kitty. She doesn’t have an expression so that little girls can project their own emotions onto her – she is whatever you need her to be. You know how when you are sad, you pick up your Hello Kitty doll and tell her all your problems and she looks back at you with that open, blank stare and you know that she just GETS it? Sound familiar?? And then sometimes you think that inside the cute, vapid shell that maybe, just maybe, there is a burning fire of rebellion and self-respect? Hello Whitney! When she FINALLY told Olivia that she felt “stabbed in the back,” it was like watching that sweet Hello Kitty slap My Melody across the face for talking sh*t about her big red bow. I knew it was inside her.

The pic above is me and Hello Kitty at the mall when I was 9 or 10. How hot is that one piece jump suit? I think Whitney would wear that.