Hello Whitney

How do we explain Whitney’s appeal? Could it be that Whitney is the new Hello Kitty of television? Go with me on this. We know NOTHING about this girl. Her past, her family, her opinions on anything other than her friends’ relationships – all of it is a blank slate! Who else is a blank slate? Hello Kitty. She doesn’t have an expression so that little girls can project their own emotions onto her – she is whatever you need her to be. You know how when you are sad, you pick up your Hello Kitty doll and tell her all your problems and she looks back at you with that open, blank stare and you know that she just GETS it? Sound familiar?? And then sometimes you think that inside the cute, vapid shell that maybe, just maybe, there is a burning fire of rebellion and self-respect? Hello Whitney! When she FINALLY told Olivia that she felt “stabbed in the back,” it was like watching that sweet Hello Kitty slap My Melody across the face for talking sh*t about her big red bow. I knew it was inside her.

The pic above is me and Hello Kitty at the mall when I was 9 or 10. How hot is that one piece jump suit? I think Whitney would wear that.

Santa Claus is(n't) coming to town!

I have to admit The City is getting boring. But I don’t judge Whitney OR her twisty hairstyles. The city isn’t always glamorous like you see on TV. Every day isn’t a party. Sometimes you are just a regular girl, sitting alone in your studio apartment with nothing but a bag of Baked Lays and a House Hunters marathon to fill your days. I mean, that’s what I’ve hear about other people...

This week’s episode of The City was called “The Truth Hurts,” which I guess means that it HURTS when Kelly Cutrone is a bitch to your face and that it would be great to see Whitney HURT Kelly’s face with a punch to the mouth. Kelly confronted Allie about her weight (she is a skinny model) in the most sensitive and logical way, right? Invite her to your birthday party and then, when other people are around, accuse her of having an eating disorder and ask her about it over and over until she is so upset she has to storm out. Kelly might be right – I have no idea – but she is SO bitchy that she loses all credibility with me. The idea that she “just cares” and is there to help is hard to swallow when her main motivation seems to be humiliating other people. Ugh. Enough about The City.

I am having a low-key kinda week. All the writers on our show are working from home for a couple weeks so I don’t have to go to Brooklyn every morning. This is great because it is snowing AGAIN today. All day. All the snow is confusing because it feels like Santa should be coming to town and he isn’t. No Christmas trees and no presents! Whatever, New York.

In closing, I would like to discuss tonight’s local NY news which talked about a “minor earthquake” in New Jersey yesterday. They played all these 911 tapes of locals calling in, which I thought was strange because we have earthquakes all the time in LA and I don’t know why one would call 911 unless you were trapped under a house. But these people were like, “I felt a boom?” and the seriously annoyed and/or bored 911 operators were like, “Yeah? Well, whatever, you are the 600th person to call us.”

That’s all for now. The pic above is my attempt to decorate my office wall with post-it notes. It’s like Oprah’s inspiration board.